I have digressed a little and am focusing on the tactics I used in transforming twelve year old Bob into the person he needed to be in order to escape alcoholism and apply himself to his studies so he could be more successful. This would impact his life in such away that he could attract one Blythe Spanos who had her own set of problems which is discussed in previous writings. These stories are in reverse chronological order because I do not know how to edit them so that they flow from top to bottom. I knew what made Bob tick because I WAS little Bob at one time...back in 1952. Even though I knew, yet I wanted to lead him out via conversation and let him see for himself. We had many conversations during the evenings in my back yard. I asked him if he felt loved by his parents. He thought" for a long time and finally said "no". I asked him why not and he replied " I believe they love me, but they don't show it in ways that I understand..they are generous (pause) but that is not love....I do not ever remember hearing them say I love you...they never hug me....they seem critical, comparing me to other kids who made straight A's.......I feel like I am their hobby, a show case kid in order to give them bragging rights, they want me to march to their drummer and I want to be my own drummer". I was amazed at how fluent he (I) was. I said: "This must cause you pain". He said "Yes...the other day when I was walking home from 8th grade, I cried all the way home." Little by little I was leading him out to the point where he felt so very comfortable in opening himself up and seemed to forget he was talking to a complete stranger. I had poured a scotch and soda and was sipping on it. "Mr. Tye....do you drink"? "Yes". "Why?" Now this little guy had turned the tables on me, so I opened up and said "Bob, I have my own pain and this helps me through the sad moments." Bob really opened up with both barrels: "Then, you should have no trouble in understanding why I burn incense, enjoy candle light and kerosene lantern light, maps on the walls of my room, have secret bushes where I can hide (pause) I love lanterns with their soft glow..like a little family lives inside and knows I am there." He then said: "I need to be getting home.Dad told me to be home by nine...." I asked: "Are you afraid of your Father?" "Yes, sometimes, he can get so mad and it scares me" We arose and Bob ran and threw his arms around me and blurted out: "Mr Tye...I wished you were my Father." With that he was gone and left me alone, oh so alone..I stood there and looked down and my tears ran down my cheeks. In the process of time, Bob began to see that his behaviour was simply his acting out what he thought of himself, sort of a "I don't want to disappoint you". He pulled himself up and began to make good grades again. He went on to earn a PhD in child psychiatry, he retired early and began a search for...just the right woman. Funny thing, he met Blythe who was looking for....just the right man. Now, back to Bob and Blythe !
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