OLD HAUNTS PART NINE (SUNDAY)

I HAD SET THE ALARM TO WAKE ME UP IN TIME TO GET DRESSED AND GO TO CHURCH....IT STARTED AT 11 A.M.  THE AUDITORIUM WHICH SEATED ABOUT 200 WAS FILLING UP AND I FOUND A BACK SEAT SO I COULD SURVEY THE PEOPLE.  I SAW BOBBY COME IN AND HE WENT OVER TO THE LEFT SIDE AND SAT NEXT TO AN OPEN WINDOW.  I DID NOT SEE MY PARENTS UNTIL THE CHOIR CAME IN.....BOTH OF THEM SANG IN THE CHOIR AND MR. LIBBY GOT THE BEST OUT OF THEM....A REALLY GOOD CHOIR FOR ITS SIZE.  I WAS HOPING THEY WOUD SING "IF I COULD PUT TIME IN A BOTTLE"  BY JIM CROCE, BUT THEY OPTED FOR "OH FOR A THOUSAND TONGUES."  THEN, T. MYRON GOT UP TO PREACH,  HOMLIER THAN A MUD FENCE, BUT COULD THAT MAN PREACH.  REMINDED ME OF MOSES STANDING ON A ROCK AND COMMANDING THE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL...HE WAS A LITTLE AUTOCRATIC, AND ONE DAY HE APPROACHED MY FATHER AND TRIED TO TALK DAD INTO BOTH THEM "RUNNING THE PLACE"  MY DAD GAVE HIM A GOOD SCOLDING AND ENDED BY SAYING "DON'T SHIT IN YOUR NEST."    T. M. AS HE WAS CALLED, FELL INTO DIS-FAVOR WITH THE BOARD OF ELDERS, AND ONE NIGHT T.M. KNOCKED ON DAD'S DOOR AND SAID RATHER SHEEPISHLY, "I SHIT IN MY NEST"   HE WENT ON TO OTHER THINGS LIKE RADIO MINISTRY.  CHURCH LET OUT AND BOBBY CAME RUNNING TO BACK DOOR.  HE SAW ME AND STOPPED IN HIS TRACKS.   "MR KEY'   HE CAME OVER AND WAS ALL BUBBLING ABOUT FLUBBING UP IN A SCRIPTURE MEMORIZATION CONTEST BETWEEN 7TH AND 8TH GRADE.  HE QUOTED THE VERSE THAT SAYS  "THOU SHALT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THYSELF."   HE PESTERED ME TO MEET MOM AND DAD AND I AGREED.  HE BROUGHT THEM TO ME AND THEY  WERE SO DIS-ARMING...EXTENDED THEIR HANDS AND TOLD ME HOW MUCH THEIR SON LIKED ME.  THEY TOLD ME HE HAD TOLD THEM....."HE'S JUST LIKE ME"   THEN, THEY INVITED ME OVER TO THEIR HOME FOR SUNDAY DINNER.   I JUMPED AT THE CHANCE, BUT TRIED TO MUTE MY EXCITEMENT.   I THANKED THEM AND TOLD THEM I WOULD LIKE TO GO HOME AND CHANGE INTO SOME COMFORTIBLE CLOTHES.  THEY AGREED AND TOLD ME DINNER WOULD BE READY ABOUT ONE O'CLOCK......JUST ENOUGH TIME TO CHANGE MY CLOTHES AND HAVE A SCOTCH AND SODA FOLLOWED BY LISTERINE......(TO BE CONTINUED)