DODD'S DUMP !

I title this chapter such because that is where I stayed.   I forgot to mention that I had called Tahoe Realty to ask if there were any rustic cabins for rent for just a night or two.  She got on her computer and found Dodd"s Dump.  It made me laugh because it seemed so fitting for me.  She said it was rustic, but clean, Two double beds with fresh linen and the kitchen was furnished reasonably well.  I asked her about the name and she said it was owned by a Dodd family and he only used it for the Summer and rented it out from Fall to Spring.  It was rather isolated from the crowded camps and cabins and there was a beautiful view of Lake Tahoe.  She advised me to secure it as places were filling up for the weekend.  I put it on my charge card.  175 per night !!   Now my destintion was D.D   about thirty more minutes of flight time...I landed at the airport, parked the plane. The only space left for light aircraft was under a pine tree.  That meant I would get to clean sap off my plane. I got my bearings.  She had told me how to get there from the airport, but how?   Easy, call a cab, so I did, and the driver knew where D.D. was !!  It was from him I learned the toilet was an outhouse.  "Oh Shit!"  no pun intended.  I asked the cabbie if there was toilet paper or corn cobs and he did not know..."Maybe a Sears Catalogue"  After many turns and an ever decreasing road quality, we turned onto a dirt road and off that was a narrow steep driveway which ended right in front of the cabin.  It had a screened in front porch that overlooked the lake.  I paid the cabbie and took the key that the cabbie had given me.  He had a deal with the Realtor that he would give the key to renters.  I unlocked the front door and heard something scurry away...I mean on the inside.  It did have electricity and I turned on some lamps and looked around.  Really, it was clean.  The kitchen was a little rough, but ok.  There was a china match holder on top of the very old gas stove and it was a Rooster and there was a hole in the top  where a few wooden matches stuck up.  I then wondered if I had to light the oven.  Yes I did.  Oh, well.  It was about four in the afternoon and the Sun was on it's downward swing.  In the "living area"  (ha) there was something that made it all worthwhile...an old cast iron pot-bellied stove.....and...get this....chopped wood in a pile on the front porch.  I built a fire and found plenty of pine cones to make a good smell.  I love that odor..that perfume...I fumigated inside by closing the damper once in awhile and the beautiful smoke came into the room..then I opened the damper again.  It hit me like a thunder bolt...I had not brought anything to eat.  Thank goodness I had my cell phone.  No hurry, I had brought a bottle of fine scotch.  and it was in my suitcase.  I was tired as flying into Tahoe was tricky, so I decided I would take a hot shower and then sit on the front porch and "veg" out.  Hot shower?  I found a water heater and it was old, old.  It said VITROCK on the outside.  I found the shower..very small and the walls were cracked.  I turned on the HOT and waited.  It was warmish, but not near hot.  I went to look at the heater and the dial was turned to low.  Figures.  I turned it to HOT and heard the flame come on quite some time after I had turned it to HOT..I heard the gas, but no flame.  Then the flame came with a flash and a little red ring on the floor from the dust and the flash of fire.  It didn't last long.  I got my Scotch and turned on the cold water.  It sounded like intestinal turbulence..then with a couple of burps, the water was for real.  Then, I assumed, no ice in the refridge.  There was ice and I felt great gratitude.  The refridge was one of those monitor tops that had the coils on top but covered with white tin.  I poured a good one! a splash of water and went out to sit in a chair.  It was charming...I like old stuff with flavor.  I could not hear a sound except for little scurryings and a soft whisper from the pines now and then.  The Sun was low and already I was cold.  I went back inside to grab a couple of blankets to wrap around me.  Dumb me, I left my jacket in the plane.  I got my cell phone and dialed the cabbie.  He answered and told me he was home, but would come out to "The Dump" after he finished his dinner.  I told him about eight o'clock and I also told him to take me to a good restaurant.  He told me there were many like that.  My strong Scotch plus the altitude altered me abit and I said  :"OK take me to a lousy one"  He laughed and said he would be there "around eight"  By this time, the pot bellied stove was roaring and I was getting roaring too.  "Watch it Bob," I said to myself.  Very,very seldom did I do that, but I got pretty darned high (I don't like the other word..the D word).   An hour went by and the inside was a very warm and pleasant ambiance.  I got back on the cell phone and told the cabbie to bring me a good hamburger and fries and thats all I wanted,  I told him that if he treated me right I would do the same.  He asked "Are you all right?)  " "Yeshime ok....give me any number and I can count it"   (hic)...say...have you ever been lauded?   "'I dont think so..what's that?"  I dunno  shounds like someone shticking a drum shtik up my ass and tickling me with it..short of a twirling motion"  (hic)...Shay...you are the nishest man I ever met....I want to be cremated  when I croak....Takesh allot of balls to do that...I went to one of those plashes and talked to a man.....He shed he would not cremate me ash I might blow the plashe up..."      The cabbie told me to go bed and call if I was sober and needed anything....also,  watch my drinking as the altitude makes one drink equal two.  I said   (hic)  "No schit...OK...Just honk when you find the hamburger."..He said I'm leaving right now  (click).  Some red light had gone off inside..but it must have gone out.  I laid down on my bed and fell fast asleep.....The next morning I woke up with a terrible hangover.  I went outside and breathed in the frosty air..I saw a frosty hamburger and fries on front step....My legs were cold and I realized I had taken my slacks off. I also realized I had Blythe's Panties half on...one leg through..the other hanging loosly.  I felt so bad I decided to just sleep it off.  First I went to the outhouse and decided to use a log instead...There was paper inside..Never again, I recalled the promise I had made to Mr Key years ago when he took me to a dive and let me see a real sick drunk lying on the sidewalk. I promised I would never drink.  Now, I realized even more why he did that.   (to be continued)