MY FIRST LETTER TO BLYTHE

Dear Blythe:  I am sitting here alone in my very nice flat....and I should be so content.  I have been very fortunate considering my beginnings.  San Francisco has been very good to me in terms of material things because it has been very hard on others in terms of all that pertains to a happy, healthful life.  I am able to retire now, but what would I do?  I have become well off finan cially and very poor in basic happiness by being soaked daily in other people's mysery.  For many years, I have longed for someont to love and share life with, and I have not found that person.  I have found many who have everything except what I want.  I actually came to believe that no such person exhisted.  It's  not that I wanted a perfect person, just a perfect person for me.  As I told you, I am against role playing....I want to do every thing with her....shop, clean the house, prepare the food...I marvel when I think about the odds against our meeting.  If I had arrived at any other time, I would not have seen you struggling with trying to get your campfire going.  You might have been out of site for a moment.  There was a ten second window and we appeared together in the window.  You were so....magical...to me.  You seemed to flit about in a kind of dance.  Every thing you said had content, cleverness, knowledge.....kindness.  Up until now, I put little stock in love at first sight.  I thought of it as a pseudo love which was just a temporary itch wanting someone to scratch it.  With you, I exhibited every dis-order my PhD is supposed to make me able to diagnose and treat.  I am sick of it all.  I am being paid well to finance my dying in fashion.  I do not wish to put any burdens upon you.  Whatever come of us, I am going to close my business and retire.  I cannot accept a life of only seeing you on weekends.  Do not let this make you feel you are now responsible for me retiring and making me happy.  Not that. ...You owe as much to yourself as I do to myself.   I hope your writing about serenity goes well.  I can't wait to hold you next to me again.  I will give you a surprise if you can correctly spell my word that I taught you.  It starts with a D.........I love you, Blythe......Bob